Half of My Heart
by threesummerdays
Summary: Another story of a boy and girl. Chapters Nine & Ten: Penny's got some big news for her hubby.
1. The Arms of Imaginary Friends

Chapter One – I Was Born In The Arms Of Imaginary Friends

Since the first day he realized he could create colleagues and send them away when he felt like it, Sheldon had loved imaginary friends. Of course, he never actually called them that. It would be an insult to their intelligence. He assumed they all held doctorates in one science or another, as he could never imagine being friends with anyone without a thorough education. Dr. Beale, Dr. Franks, and Dr. Richmond were as close to peers as he got.

Having only imaginary friends created problems for the rest of his life. It was normal for Sheldon to come home from school with a bloody nose, his pants ripped, or, one time, a black eye. His father waved off the schoolyard punishments, telling Mary that the boy had better toughen up soon. She had cleaned her son up each time, chastising him for implying he was smarter than the other children. He kept quiet, blew his nose, hid in his room, and cried himself to sleep. It became a pattern that was as easy for him to understand as quantum mechanics.

His world went into warp speed once he reached college. He traveled, he learned, he taught, he became Dr. Sheldon Cooper with almost superhuman intelligence. He applied to universities around the world to find the best offer for a job. Mary told him to stay in Texas. "The Lord will come to Texas first," she'd tell him, "then he'll take care of the rest of the world." Sheldon wanted to be anywhere but there. When Caltech offered the position in the Physics department, he knew he would have been considered of average intelligence had he not taken it.

The day he met Leonard, he was prepared for a rough road of friendship. It wasn't as though Sheldon's previous friends had made life easy for him, but he was willing to torment himself again if it meant he had a roommate who could drive him to work. Leonard made friends with Raj and Howard, who Sheldon assumed he had to accept as friends because they were his roommate's. Eventually, even though he thought the other three fell far short of his preferred friends, he accepted that he was a part of a group.

They fell into routines. They watched movies, ate dinner, bought comic books, played video games. The trio of lesser minds discussed women (mostly Leslie Winkle or Joyce Kim) while Sheldon attacked his whiteboard with vigor. His research continued while they distracted themselves with curves and lips. He was certain he would never join any part of their conversations.

It was the day he and Leonard returned from the sperm bank that his world was flipped (metaphorically) upside down.

He wasn't used to seeing attractive women outside his family. In fact, Sheldon wasn't even sure that the majority of males in the world considered his sister "attractive." Certainly she possessed the low body fat percentage that Western culture deemed attractive, but he had never looked at her like that, which he supposed was psychologically sound.

When he and Leonard reached the top step to their apartment, however, he saw what other testosterone-driven members of the species must see. The new neighbor was stunning. Low body fat, moderately tall, symmetrical, blonde hair. Sheldon felt his brain recording the information scientifically, though the rest of his body responded in any way but that. Well, he reasoned, it was a _biological_ reaction, so technically scientific.

And then she talked to them. Leonard invited her to lunch, showed her into the apartment. Sheldon thought he was going to melt into the floor, though he quickly reminded himself it was a physical impossibility. When she looked at his board, however, he began to question the possibility.

"So you're one of those beautiful mind genius types," she said, eyeing him with a good-natured curiosity.

"Yeah." And he hugged his board, trying to give her the "flirty eyes" Howard was always going on about.

When she sat down in his spot, he was torn between being furious and launching himself on her. When he opened his mouth to complain she was in his spot, he wanted to shoot himself. When she patted the couch and told him to sit next to her, his brain froze for several seconds. If he sat next to her, he could breathe her in, share a space on the table, maybe even touch her. But instead of allowing his voice to agree to her request, his instincts kicked in.

"No."

How stupid was he, really? Sheldon had always prided himself on his IQ (187 was nothing to sniff at), but to refuse to sit next to the most beautiful girl in the world? He was cursing himself, wondering if he was actually any smarter than his Fuddruckers waitress sister.

After the lunch fiasco, Penny had become a part of his life. He hadn't wanted her to at first. How could he desire that, knowing that having her around would distract him every second of the day? But he allowed it. He got pantsed for her first, even though he complained about Leonard agreeing to reclaim the TV from Kurt. And after that, doing things for Penny didn't seem to be that bad. He reorganized her apartment, purposefully locked himself out of his, played with her laundry, asked her to give him a sponge bath (although that didn't go so well), got her hooked on an online game, even went to the mall for her Christmas present.

He got no reward for his efforts (well, except for the Leonard Nimoy napkin). Leonard had claimed her as his and, respecting the laws of nature, Sheldon allowed it. Based on Leonard's determination to engage in sexual intercourse with Penny, Sheldon assumed he would be more likely to succeed than himself. He also reasoned that Penny would most likely choose a Beta male who would willingly succumb to her will rather than one who seemed to be an Alpha. She told him she was a "big ole five" – how much more Alpha could she consider herself? And the thought of a power struggle between two top individuals that could include yelling discouraged his attempt to fight his roommate for the neighbor. Instead, he began thinking of experiments he could run.

He wrote "Bowel Movements" on the front of the notebook, an attempt to discourage wandering eyes. Inside, he kept the observations Leonard knew nothing about. The first page said simply, "Penny," with variations of handwriting and last names attached. The next was full of details: her height, weight (both the realistic and her own "vanity" numbers), eye color, hair color, likes, dislikes, preferred food, and even, once he joined her for the shopping trip ("from hell," she would always add), information about her menstrual cycle. Each bit of information, he convinced himself, would help him conduct further experiments.

He refused to admit to himself that his real reason was to feel closer to her.


	2. A Grip on the Situation

Chapter Two – Half of My Heart's Got a Grip On the Situation

"Penny."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for letting me stay here."

"Oh, you're welcome sweetie."

A pause. He could say it. Right here, right now. He could tell her how much his heart ached when she wasn't at his side, her sweet voice ringing through his ears. But then again…

"Okay, I'm sleepy. Now get out."

It wasn't the first time Sheldon had thought about telling her, to admit that he was recording her life story just to feel close to her. It also wasn't the first time he had chosen not to go through with his plan.

It had been over a year since she had moved into the building and disrupted his happy routine. Not that her presence was a bad thing. Just different.

And suddenly it was year three. She was dating Leonard. He was still dropping hints. She didn't get it. There were so many opportunities for him to tell her, but he kept avoiding it. Cold showers became the norm, especially when she stayed over. Embarrassing interruptions were his forte now. Leonard was growing more impatient with him each day. She laughed more each day. And then came the day that ruined it all.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Sheldon."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Sheldon."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Sheldon."

Sheldon opened the door to find Penny standing in the hall, squeezing her hands together, a bright smile on her face.

"Hello, Penny."

"I need to ask you for a favor," Penny said, breezing past him and into the living room.

"What sort of favor?"

_Stop staring at her chest. Don't even _think_ of dropping the gaze to her… Oh, too late. And what beautiful legs. And then back up to those eyes. Damn. _

Maybe he needed to up his showering to two times a day. Maybe even three. He walked toward the kitchen to distract himself.

"I need you to teach me how to dance."

Sheldon stopped in his tracks. Turning slowly back to Penny, he narrowed his eyes.

"I don't dance."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Everybody can dance, Sheldon."

"I didn't say I can't, Penny. I said I _don't_."

"Sheldon, this is _really_ important. Please?"

And there was that big-eyed puppy look. She must have known he could never refuse her looking like that. Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

"I don't dance, Penny."

"Even Doctor Who dances."

_Check and mate._

"Why do you need to learn?"

Penny fiddled with the pillow next to her on the couch. "Leonard's taking me to New Jersey to meet with his mom about some fancy conference and he said they do ballroom dancing sometimes. I never learned ballroom, so I figured you'd be the best person to go to."

Sheldon instinctively crossed his arms over his chest. "Why not ask Leonard?"

There was that smile again. "I wanted to surprise him."

Sheldon rolled his eyes and sighed. And yet, the next day, she found him in his Green Lantern shirt in the living room, the table moved and the stereo playing a waltz.

And so began the dance lessons. For once in his life, Sheldon was a patient teacher, pointing out how her feet moved and forcing her to allow him to lead.

"Big ole five or no," he told her, "the man is supposed to lead in these dances."

They started with the waltz – it was his favorite. Holding her so close almost made him imagine she was really his. Once the music stopped, reality hit again, but during those three-counts, there was a glimmer of hope. After that, they learned the foxtrot, east and west coast swing, the Viennese waltz, and, finally, the tango. Once Penny had mastered the basics, Sheldon placed the music on shuffle and they danced each one out of order. When he dipped her for the tango, he paused for a nanosecond longer than he should have, just to stare at her. He could have sworn her pupils dilated just a bit more than usual, but instead of clinging to the thought that maybe, just maybe, she could like him, he pulled her up.

"You've mastered the dances," he said, trying to keep his voice as monotone as possible.

Penny launched herself at his chest and crushed him in a hug. "Thank you."

And as Sheldon silently counted the seconds ("One Isaac Newton, two Isaac Newton…"), he realized she'd gone past the socially acceptable length. He was still counting ("…eight Isaac Newton…") when he heard Leonard coming up the stairs. Penny jerked away and Sheldon could have sworn she was crying. She was out the door before Leonard even had his key out. Watching his girlfriend run into her apartment, Leonard turned to Sheldon.

"What did you to do her?"

And for once in his life, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper had nothing to say.


	3. The Man Who Can Only Love Himself

Chapter Three – Stay the Man Who Can Only Love Himself

The notebook was almost filled by the time Leonard brought Penny back from the conference. Sheldon had forgotten about writing observations and data down. Now it was simple poems and stories he would tell his (hypothetical) children, with the occasional sketch of the woman who had, effectively, ruined his life. Really, he kept thinking to himself, he was a repulsive mess of a romantic. It was almost as disgusting as Bernadette and Howard's relationship. He shuddered each time the thought passed through his mind.

Occasionally, he even thought of that time when Penny was playing AoC, his offhand comment to Leonard that had almost given him away. He didn't want to think about it, but there it was, hiding in the back of his mind.

_Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She is interfering with my sleep, she is interfering with my work, and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that, too!_

Oh, she was certainly interfering with his life now. The feelings that were seeping into his heart with every passing second surely verified that hypothesis.

The night Penny and Leonard were due to arrive, he couldn't help his heart racing, pounding against his chest, as he considered the possibilities. She might hug him and thank him for the lessons. She might glare at him and ask why he taught her the wrong moves. She might not say anything at all. Any option that involved her was fine with him.

He heard the footsteps on the stairs, the banging of the suitcase on each step as they lugged them home. He was pacing the room, pretending to be working on an equation on the whiteboard, until he heard the keys being pulled out of Leonard's pocket. He jumped over the table (when he learned to jump like that, he couldn't fathom) and sat quickly down on 0,0,0,0. Leonard pushed the door open seconds later to find Sheldon reading the latest issue of _The Flash_ comics lazily.

"How was the conference?" Sheldon asked casually, turning the page.

"Uh…" Leonard was stumped. Sheldon never showed any interest in his life. Before he could go on, Sheldon looked up and grinned.

"Bazinga," he said happily. "I don't care."

Leonard stared at his roommate, who had returned to his reading. He really had no idea how Sheldon's mind could work. When he commented on how his roommate's mind must have been hell, he really meant it. And yet, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good, he kept talking.

"I thought you might want to know, we broke up."

Sheldon froze. He refused to look at Leonard. "Was it mutual?"

"What the hell do _you_ think, Sheldon?" Leonard practically screamed across the apartment. His eyes were huge behind his glasses and his face was an unpleasant shade of red.

"I would assume by your reaction that it was not," Sheldon said matter-of-factly.

"Really?" Leonard said, his voice rising slightly.

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asked, raising his eyebrows. Leonard's glare answered his question.

As Leonard disappeared down the hall to his room, a knock came at the door. Sheldon rose from the couch, carefully placing the comic book on the table, and opened the door to find Penny.

"Hello, Penny," he said pleasantly, smiling genuinely at his neighbor's appearance. He felt his heart perform backflips each time her eyes met his.

"Hi, Sheldon," she said, looking at her shoes. "I just wanted to give Leonard back his socks. They got into my suitcase."

"Very well," he said, and took the white athletic socks. Why Leonard didn't wear argyle, Sheldon still couldn't understand. It was a respectable pattern used in many different parts of the world.

"I'm guessing he told you," Penny mumbled, staring at his shirt. There was a warmth spreading through his stomach like he was being heated by microwaves.

"About your unfortunate yet entirely predictable separation?" _God, if you actually do exist like my mother says, please strike me down dead when I bring up awkward social conversation again. _"Yes, he did inform me."

"Oh." She looked at her hands and then up at his face. Her eyes were incredibly green and, unless Sheldon was mistaken (which was exceptionally rare), filled with unshed tears.

They stood there in silence for several minutes. If he had been the man she had known for nearly four years, he would have made a snide remark about how he knew it was going to happen and why it failed. If he had been that man, he would have closed the door in her face. But, for a reason only he knew, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper was not that man anymore. His silence was caused by his lack of knowledge of social conduct now rather than his lack of concern. As he was about to ask Penny what she needed, she sniffed and raised her eyes to his again.

"I guess this is goodbye," she whispered, her eyes searching his face for emotion.

"Why does this need to be goodbye?" he asked, genuinely confused. "It's not as though we are no longer friends, nor is it likely that you'll be moving in the near future."

"Sheldon, sweetie…" She paused, trying to find the words. "When a guy and a girl break up, they don't share friends."

"Why not?"

"Because. You stay his friend and I…" Another abnormal pause in her speech. What was she going to do? Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Penny didn't make friends that easily. Not the kind of friends the guys were. Friends that actually cared about her were few and far between. But she couldn't tell Sheldon that.

"I'll see you around," she finished, nodding her entire upper body in agreement. She turned and was halfway back to her apartment when he called out her name.

"Tomorrow's Halo Night," Sheldon said, hoping his voice was as steady as it needed to be. "You will be attending, correct?"

"I don't think so, Moonpie," she said, smiling slightly. Giving a tiny wave, she entered her apartment.

Sheldon stood and watched her closed door for a few more seconds before he whispered, "Nobody calls me Moonpie except Meemaw." He turned back into the apartment and closed the door.

"What'd she want?" Leonard asked. He had obviously been watching from the kitchen, one hand wrapped around a mug.

"She wished to inform me of your separation, to which I replied that I was already aware."

"Did she tell you _why_ we broke up?"

Sheldon looked at his roommate, his eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed. His head tilted to one side as he asked, "Why would she tell me?"

"She seems to tell you everything," Leonard said, taking a sip of whatever was in the mug.

"Far from everything, Leonard," Sheldon said, his mouth going flat and tight. He walked back to his spot and picked up the comic book.

Leonard watched him idly reading as he considered telling the truth. God, how it hurt to even think about what had happened. It all came so suddenly, just last night, right before the flight home. The more he thought about the details, Leonard was certain Sheldon shouldn't know. He held in the information.

He didn't tell him that she had said Sheldon's name when he made the move. That she blushed when he asked her about it and waved it off, saying it was a text she had gotten. That he tried again and, just as her shirt was in his hands, she closed her eyes and moaned it again. _Sheldon_. That he raised his voice and demanded an explanation, had Sheldon done this to her before? That she had denied it, swore nothing happened, asked him to leave her alone. That she turned over and told Leonard she wanted to go home. That he had sat on the edge of the bed and had cried. That his heart was broken in a few more pieces than before he had seen them dancing together when they thought they were alone. That Sheldon was the luckiest man in the world because Penny loved him and had all but told him, Leonard, her ex-boyfriend, the fact.

No, Leonard didn't tell his roommate any of that. In fact, he didn't say anything.


	4. A Right Mind to Tell You

Chapter Four – A Right Mind To Tell You

Sheldon didn't see Penny very often since the break-up and, to be completely frank with himself, he hated it. His loathing of Kripke and Winkle were nothing to how he felt toward Leonard's ill-timed separation. He even supposed that an offspring of his two most detested co-workers could not surpass Leonard's place on his internal hate scale. Occasionally, it passed Sheldon's mind that he shouldn't be mad at Leonard. After all, a parting of ways was destined to occur after the first date. But that didn't stop his fury at his roommate.

The one bright moment in Sheldon's week was Saturday at 8:15. Penny had changed her own haphazard schedule to fit his, allowing them at least one hour and forty-five minutes alone to talk about whatever they felt like. Usually, Penny tried to tell humorous anecdotes about the Cheesecake Factory, although sometimes she let another thought slip out and covered it quickly with a comment like, "Wow, your fabric softener really fluffs up your socks." If he had any more room in his notebook, Sheldon would have written down such slips of the tongue and analyzed them later. As he had covered each page with arbitrary doodles, he found that it was out of the question.

One evening, Leonard was being particularly obnoxious, forcing Sheldon to throw out most of his dinner. He couldn't even consider eating when Leonard's conversation consisted of, "She's just a bitch," and, "She wasn't even serious about me." It was all Sheldon could do not to take Howard's belt buckle and throw it at Leonard's forehead. Of course, he probably would have shocked all three of his friends and that would have drawn attention to why he was upset. It was simply easier to stop eating (his stomach was upset anyway) and get his laundry ready early. By the time 8:15 rolled around, he was nearly running out of the apartment. In his rush to reach the laundry room, he nearly ran over Penny.

"Whoa there, cowboy," Penny said, regaining her balance on the stairs. "What's the rush, Moonpie?"

"Oh," he said, making an admirable attempt to calm his suddenly rushed breathing. "Hello, Penny. Laundry night?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and lifted her basket slightly. He sucked in another breath and nodded quickly.

"Ah."

They continued the walk down the flights of stairs in silence. Sheldon searched his mind for simple small talk to ease the tension, but his mind came up blank. And really, he shouldn't have been surprised. His mind always went blank when he was around her. Why else would he listen to Cheesecake Factory stories?

As they began loading the clothes into their respective washers, Penny turned to her neighbor. "I got some more hours at work," she said, looking expectantly at him.

Sheldon nodded and continued placing his socks in one by one. Penny blinked and sighed softly. "You could congratulate me, Sheldon."

"Oh," he said, looking up from his basket. Pulling out a pair of his plaid pants, he added, "I was unsure if that statement was soliciting praise."

"Yes."

"Then congratulations."

It was quiet for several moments as they started the washers. Completely ignoring the sign telling her not to sit on washers, Penny hopped up and swung her feet against the side. Sheldon stood at the table, watching her feet dangle. He felt her eyes boring into his skull, knew his cheeks would start to flush if he didn't do something. Before he could speak, Penny's voice floated across the room.

"I started seeing someone."

There was a rush in his chest. The thoughts that were usually so delicately and perfectly constructed in his head broke down into simple fragments of almost thoughts. Penny was seeing someone. Another man. Not him. And what was this feeling growing inside him? The one that felt like he had heartburn, except all over his entire self? Something in the deep part of his mind told him (more like repeated incessantly) it was jealousy. And yet he didn't believe it. By the time his mind caught back up with her, Penny had continued talking about the new man.

"His name's Sean, he's a waiter at work. It's amazing – he can carry two trays of food and never needs help. And he has these dreamy eyes…"

"I need to work on some equations," Sheldon said suddenly, the feeling roaring to life. _Sean_.

Penny was looking curiously at him. "Sheldon, it says not to leave laundry unattended."

"You always used to."

"Yeah, but you don't. Ever."

"There's a first time for everything."

And with that, he rushed out of the room.

He knew he should return to his laundry, knew it like he knew he would win the Nobel Prize someday. And yet… the thought of Penny's excitement about Sean kept him staring at his whiteboard, silently weighing the pros and cons of returning. He stared at the clock, watching the minutes click by. Over an hour. He should put his clothes in the dryer. She probably already had put hers in. But he hadn't heard her door. That meant she was still down there. Or maybe he just hadn't heard.

His hand found its way to his forehead and he sighed. Over thinking. That was all this was. He was simply over analyzing everything. There was no reason he couldn't just go down there and put his laundry in the dryer. No reason at all. And yet, for the next hour, he continued staring at the board. The knock on the door caused him to drop his pen as he shook himself from his reverie. When he opened the door, Penny was standing there, two full laundry baskets in her arms.

"I figured you forgot about your load," she said, lifting the stack of baskets and indicating his clothes. "I know how into your equations you can get, so I tossed them into the dryer and folded them for you."

Sheldon took the basket from her arms and glanced half-heartedly over the folds. She had no access to his folding board, that was certain. And his socks were folded into each other. He would have to redo everything.

"Thank you, Penny," he said, carrying the basket into the apartment. Penny remained in the doorway.

"Where's Leonard?" she asked, peeking her head around the doorframe.

Sheldon's head twitched around the room. How had he missed it? His roommate was nowhere to be found. "I have no idea," he said, uncertainty tainting his voice.

Penny took three steps into the room and picked up a piece of paper on the end table. "'Going out with the guys. Be back soon. L.'" She looked at Sheldon, a small smile on her face. "I'm going to guess that he went out with the guys."

Sheldon couldn't help his mouth twisting into a scowl. "Thank you, Penny. Goodnight."

He walked toward his bedroom, trying to ignore her presence. It worked about as well as all of his other plans. The thud of a laundry basket being dropped to the floor echoed across the apartment and he heard the telltale sound of the fabric of Penny's top running down the doorframe. He sighed again, cursing himself for ever deciding to do his laundry on Saturday. He turned to see Penny curling her arms around her knees, rocking back and forth as sobs racked her body. He placed the basket of his clothes on the kitchen island and walked back to the door.

"Penny?" He didn't know what to do. Completely clueless. He almost dared to say stupid, but he knew he was far from it.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry we can't get along. I thought we were going to stay friends, but I just piss you off and then you get mad and I hate seeing you mad and I can't even think of why I told you about Sean and why did you storm off because I really wanted to talk to you about him because I don't know what I'm really thinking and…"

As Sheldon processed the incredibly long run-on sentence, Penny took a shaky breath and continued, "…I feel like I'm settling for him because I don't want to be alone and I'm tired of the same kind of guy but Leonard was so different and when we broke up I went back to thinking about the usual type of guy I used to date but I don't even want to date them anymore because there's only one guy I really like and he doesn't even think of me that way and…"

She shuddered to a halt, placing her hand quickly over her mouth before it could come out: _it's you_. So close to saying exactly what she never needed him to know. His eyes were still glassed over, so she assumed she was safe. His eyes turned to her suddenly, as though he finished her sentence in his head.

"And?" he asked, his heart fluttering nervously.

"And I don't know why I'm telling you all this," she said, rising from the floor and grabbing her basket. "You don't care."

"Penny," Sheldon said, placing a hand on her arm. Time stopped. It didn't even stand still. It simply stopped. He watched his fingers grip her perfectly tanned skin as her eyes searched his face for one of his tics. Nothing.

"I'm supposed to make sure you're okay," he said, squeezing her arm gently.

"What, are you my knight or something?" she asked, trying to sound more upset than she really was. She pulled her body from him.

"No. I'm your friend."

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reading this little bit of silliness - I promise the next installment is going to get good.


	5. Your Faith Is Strong

Chapter Five – Your Faith Is Strong, But I Can Only Fall Short For So Long

After the laundry night escapade, Sheldon tried harder to understand Penny. It was more difficult than he originally imagined. Somehow, he was supposed to interpret her body language, listen to her stories, and analyze everything she said. He concluded after two hours of trying to understand their last conversation that these steps were exactly why he avoided girlfriends. If he commented about her clothing, he apparently meant she was a slut. If he made a comment about her enjoyment of chocolate, Penny nearly ripped out his vocal cords. Apparently, it implied that she was a pig. Females of the species were simply too complicated.

And then she decided to be even more complex.

One Anything Can Happen Thursday, instead of avoiding 4A like she was lately wont to, Penny showed up with a blinding smile on her face and a pizza in her hand.

"Hey guys," she said, bouncing into the room. All four of the boys stared silently at her as she waltzed into he kitchen. Raj leaned into Howard's ear.

"Yeah, I'd say having sex definitely has something to do with it," Howard muttered back. Sheldon's chest tightened as he approached Penny.

"Penny," he said, leaning into her hair. It smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and cloves. Like a Texas Christmas, he concluded. He cleared his throat and continued. "Today is Anything Can Happen Thursday."

"I know, Sheldon," she said, holding out a plate with a slice of pizza on it. Sheldon shook his head.

"Penny, we don't eat pizza on Anything Can Happen Thursday. We eat whatever they want to." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder pointedly. Howard rolled his eyes at Raj.

"Well, this Anything Can Happen Thursday, I decided we should treat it like any other Thursday. So I got pizza." She pushed the plate at Sheldon's arm. "Sausage, mushrooms, and light olives. Just like you like it."

Sheldon looked at Penny, noticing for the first time in several months that she had incredibly green eyes. Beautiful, really. He looked at the plate.

"Penny, I…"

"We're going to get sushi," Leonard interrupted, eyeing his ex cautiously. Her eyebrows didn't move, though her mouth twitched slightly.

"That's fine, Leonard. I only brought pizza for Sheldon and me." Everyone stared at her. She didn't seem to notice that even Sheldon was staring as she said, "I'm going to eat dinner with my friend. If you want to go out, go for it." She nudged Sheldon with the plate.

He wasn't really looking, but he took it. They were still friends? He shook his head. Turning to the others, he said, "I for one would rather eat pizza than sushi. I would also like to spend time talking to Penny." He looked at her again. "Would you like to go to your apartment?"

It was Penny's turn to stare. "You never do anything in my apartment _willingly_."

"It's Anything Can Happen Thursday."

And with that he grabbed his keys and pizza and stalked across the hall to 4B. Penny was quick to follow with the rest of the box and some napkins. As the door closed, Raj turned to Leonard.

"They've got to be having sex. She's too happy and he's too nice. Something's up."

Leonard shrugged and stood up. "Wanna go out?"

Howard stood and checked his watch, shaking his head. "Bernadette's coming over. I should probably get going."

After the door closed, Leonard glanced at Raj, who shrugged. "Let's do it."

Sheldon waited in Penny's apartment until he heard Raj and Leonard's footsteps going down the stairs. As soon as they were gone, he invited her back over to join in a Doctor Who marathon. She agreed and, carrying the pizza over, settled happily on the couch next to him.

It was sometime in "The Girl in the Fireplace" that Penny said, "I'm moving."

Sheldon's finger was on the "stop" button faster than he ever imagined possible. "What?"

"I'm moving," she repeated, avoiding his eyes.

Sheldon opened his mouth several times, the words failing to come out. His tongue was dry, rolling around his teeth awkwardly, trying to form something to say.

"I'm sorry, I thought you just said you were moving."

"I am."

"That's impossible."

"I think you mean improbable."

He stared at her. "Penny, you cannot be serious."

"Why wouldn't I be, Sheldon?" Her voice was solid, unwavering, honest. He hated it.

"You're trying to trick me with one of your classic pranks," he said, struggling to smile. "You should say 'bazinga' next time."

Penny faced Sheldon, her eyes locking onto his. "Sheldon, I'm moving." She shifted on the couch, crossing her right leg over her left, her toes barely brushing his pant leg. "It's just… awkward around here now. I feel like everyone thinks it's weird that we're still friends and I can't handle the looks and the whispers."

Something was building inside him, something that felt shockingly similar to his reaction to Sean. He tried to control his voice as he said, "You really care that much about what other people think?"

Obviously, he had interpreted her body language and wording incorrectly. Her face grew suddenly pink as it scrunched together.

"Yes, Sheldon. I care what other people think." She rose from the couch, turning away before she could see his hand reach toward her, trying to pull her back to him. Something clicked in his mind.

"Does this have something to do with Sean?"

Since he was three, Sheldon had always imagined a battle between a mongoose and a cobra would be one of the few natural altercations he would like to see in person. He had researched both specimens, had watched videos online, recorded specials on Animal Planet and Discovery Channel. At one point (he was nine), he had nightmares for three weeks from watching one of those shows. But now that all looked like child's play. None of his research terrified him as much as Penny's face at that second in time.

"Why the hell do you think it has to do with Sean?" she hollered in his face.

"You rarely act this way unless a man's opinion is involved."

"Are you suggesting that I rely solely on the opinion of the opposite sex to better myself?" He knew he was in dangerous territory now, but for the millionth time in his life, Sheldon's mouth opened before he thought.

"Yes."

It was amazing how much a pizza box to the face could hurt, he thought seconds later, restraining himself from picking the cheese remnants from his nose. Penny was stalking out the door when she turned to face him again.

"Just so that you know, Sean and I only had one date. I never called him back."

Sheldon was ready to say something as the door slammed shut. He sat on the couch, going over the conversation again. Why was she so upset that he said she cared too much for everyone else's opinion? More importantly, how could he stop her from moving?

An hour later, the whiteboard was covered in incoherent scribbles of ideas, chances, probability, names, equations, and one drawing of a Penny Blossom. The last was truly inexplicable, especially when such a catastrophe lurked on the horizon. Sheldon could narrow down his writing to only a few statements.

_Penny was moving._

_Something had bothered her to make her want to move._

_He didn't want her to move._

That was all. Three things that barely explained anything. As he glared at the board, Sheldon realized the feeling from earlier, the one so similar to his resentment of Sean, was actually a conglomeration of feelings, which made his inability to pinpoint it understandable. He was lucky to understand one emotion he was experiencing. A whole combination was just not going to work. And the emotions involved didn't help – jealousy, fear, anger, and (most frighteningly) love. A deep sigh escaped Sheldon's lungs as he considered the feelings. Jealousy was weak, fear and anger were logical – she was disrupting his comfortable lifestyle of habits. But love?

Unconsciously capping the marker, Sheldon sat on the arm of the couch, staring at the blank spaces on the board. Yes, love. He had known it for so long, and yet he had never said the word itself. His need to smell her, their special moments during laundry night, that moment of holding her arm, oh yes. It was love. And suddenly statement number three made sense: he didn't want her to move because he loved her. She needed to know.

His palms began sweating abruptly. Did he really want to tell her? Really? His mind was spinning, trying to find the logic in love. In the time it took his head to tell him not to talk to her, Sheldon's body was already out the door, walking across the hall. He was thinking about reasons not to tell her when his hand began knocking.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Penny."

Penny opened the door, faded mascara rings around her eyes. She glared at him as her hair fell over her bare shoulder.

"What, Sheldon?"

"I don't want you to leave, Penny."

"You're going to have to give me more to work with than that, Sheldon," she said, leaning on the door.

His face screwed up in concentration. "Penny, I would appreciate it if you would not move away from this apartment in this building in this town."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Not more _specific_, Sheldon. Just more. Why don't you want me to leave?"

"Because I can't live without you." The words were out faster than he could really process them. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"What?"

He had to think fast to cover his mistake. "Your disappearance from my life would create havoc in my schedule and I'm uncomfortable with change. You know that."

She smiled slightly at him. "You're sure it's not anything else?"

He could say it. Right now. Just let it out into the air. "I'm sure." _Damnit._

Her smile faded into an emotionless face as she pulled back from the door. "See ya, Sheldon."

As she closed the door, he opened his mouth and the words he'd been holding back for so long tumbled out in a jumbled mess.

"Penny I think I'm in love with you don't go."

She turned back. "What?"

Sheldon took a deep breath as he thought carefully about his wording. He was struggling to let the words slip out of his mouth. She watched them form on his tongue, followed their dance into the air that hung between them.

"Penny, I can no longer deny my feelings for you. Whether you feel the same way about me seems to be irrelevant to my heart. I therefore can only conclude that my whole life revolves around you. Science seems to be a close second, but you come first. Please don't go."

Penny stared at him in disbelief for several seconds before she closed the space between them, hands on her hips.

"Are you telling me, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, that you choose me over science? A lowly, Midwestern waitress at the Cheesecake Factory, struggling to become an actress, over the beauty of a properly balanced equation and the String Theory?"

His face was starting to twitch, a sure sign this was going to kill him to say. She knew it was cruel, knew he meant his word, but she had to hear him say it.

"Yes. I choose you over the String Theory."

No words had ever meant more to her. Moving closer to Sheldon's body, Penny stood on her tiptoes and raised her face to his, moving her hands from her hips to grip his forearms lightly. His eyes were watching hers carefully, his eyebrows furrowed anxiously. Softly, and ever so gently, her lips reached for him as his fell to meet her. When she pulled back seconds later, he looked at her, still confused.

"What does this mean, Penny?"

"You tell me, genius," she said, smiling at him.

* * *

A/N: Second long chapter in a row! And the next installment is going to be long, too. Wow.


	6. Half of My Heart

**A/N**: A big big BIG thank you to everyone reading and reviewing! I'm not going to lie to you - this is my favorite chapter so far...

Chapter Six – Half Of My Heart

The kiss in the hallway had only been the beginning. Sheldon was sure of that. If he had kept any room in the notebook, he would have written it down. But, as he had known for several weeks, there was no room at all. That was when the shoebox started. At first, it was simply a protective case for the notebook, but as the relationship grew, it grew as well. Special mementos found their way into it, snuck in without his realizing.

* * *

The first thing to go in the box was the receipt from the Cheesecake Factory.

It was the first time Sheldon remembered feeling excited to go to dinner. As the rest of the boys talked about Leslie and Bernadette on the ride over, he thought of Penny standing by the table in her waitress uniform and tried to keep his mind off of how much he loved her. When they got to the restaurant, the hostess sat them down at the usual table, gave them the menus even though there was no need, and told them their server would be there in a minute. When she rounded the corner, Sheldon was sure he was going to smile. Luckily, the muscles still weren't used to working, so his joy at seeing his girlfriend (yes, that was the word now – girlfriend) was unnoticed by the others.

The meal went by normally, with a typical argument over Superman versus Batman and whether or not Leslie would be willing to sleep with Leonard again in the near future (conclusion: yes). The check came too quickly for Sheldon's taste. He could have sat and watched Penny serve the other tables all night. The others argued over whose turn it was to pay and, even though Sheldon had paid the night before, Penny handed the bill to him. As the others continued their argument about Spider-Man 4, Sheldon opened the holder and glanced at the receipt. On the bottom she had scrawled a note.

"Did you notice your burger was shaped like a heart? Special request. I love you."

Sheldon had, in fact, noticed the burger's shape. It had made his own heart leap in his chest. He pulled out the receipt and folded it carefully into quarters before putting it into his pocket and placing the bills in the holder. Penny came by and waved to the boys, her hand lingering on Sheldon's as he handed her the holder. He smiled briefly at her and followed Howard out of the restaurant.

When she opened the holder at the register, a napkin fell out. As she picked it up, the clear, perfect writing on one side caught her eye.

"I love you, too."

* * *

The second thing to go in the box was the ticket stub.

It was the first movie they saw together as a couple. Sheldon insisted Penny choose the movie as that was the accepted social convention. She chose the new Hugh Grant movie ("I love him!" she said. "Oh, joy," he sighed.) and dragged Sheldon, slightly unhappily, along. It was a typical romantic comedy, but the fact that he was able to hold her hand through the entire 100 minutes (plus about 20 minutes for trailers) made the situation bearable. Certainly, it made his consumption of popcorn somewhat difficult, but her squeezing his fingers at the most romantic moments filled his stomach with so many butterflies, it was unlikely that the popcorn would have stayed down very long.

It was also the night they shared their first real kiss as a couple. Just as she put the car into park outside of the apartments, he knew it was the moment. She sat back and sighed contentedly. Her head turned toward him, her green eyes bright from the reflection of the streetlight.

"I had a really great time, Moonpie," she said, her mouth curling into a gentle smile. Before she could say anything else, his mouth had closed over hers.

For the first time in her life, Penny didn't feel that this kiss was a precursor to anything. There was no frantic movement, no desperate clutching at her clothing. It was a simple, gentle, sweet kiss. She closed her eyes and kissed him back, praying somewhere in the back of her mind that it never stopped. When he finally pulled away, she had to fight to open her eyes again. His blue ones met her own and crinkled into a smile.

"Thank you, Penny. It was most enjoyable."

And with that he opened the car door and stepped outside. Penny was about to yell something at him about being a gentleman when he appeared at her door and opened it for her. She climbed out numbly, her feet taking over for her brain. As they reached the fourth floor, Penny felt Sheldon stiffen. He hadn't told the boys about _them_ yet, and she had a feeling that tonight was not going to be the best time. He led her to her door and waited for her to unlock it.

"I hope we will be able to go to another movie soon, Penny," he said quietly as his hand brushed her arm and clutched her hand.

"We will, Moonpie. We will." She smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek. Her hand slipped out of his grip as she slid into her apartment.

He couldn't see her, but on the other side of the door, she melted onto the floor, giddy with the prospect that he wanted to do it again. She didn't know it, but when he got back to his room and closed the door tightly against Leonard, he did the same thing.

* * *

There were other things in the box. The first love note she ever wrote him – scrawled on the back of the post-it note he had left on her laptop telling her exactly how to win the next AoC level. The receipt from the first official dinner they had as a couple. The earring she lost under the couch cushion when they were making out in month four of the relationship – a dangly one, with a delicate pearl swinging softly from the silver base. The sock she kicked off in his bed when she cried herself to sleep against him after her grandmother died. The lottery ticket she bought swearing it was a winner so she could buy him every comic book he ever wanted (it wasn't). The picture he took of her laughing from when they went to the park for a kite fight. The community college flyer she strangled to death when they were almost caught by Leonard. But Sheldon's favorite thing in the shoebox was the split pea soup recipe card.

* * *

It all began when Leonard called Mary in. He swore Sheldon was acting weird again and only his mother would know what was going on. It was ridiculous, Sheldon told Penny as he kissed her neck, that Leonard thought anything was wrong. He felt better than ever before. She reminded him in between kisses that Leonard still didn't know they were together. He had to concede and she gave him his due.

Mary entered 4A to find Sheldon typing frantically on his laptop and Penny lounging on the couch reading _The Notebook_. Leonard was leaning on the countertop and jumped up when she walked in.

"Hi, Mrs. Cooper," he said, hurrying to take her suitcase.

"Well, hello, Leonard, Penny. How's my Shelly doing?" She enveloped Sheldon in her hug and he relaxed slightly.

"Fine, Mom. Why are you here?"

Mary sighed. That was her Shelly. Never one to beat around the bush.

"Just wanted to see how my boy was doing."

He made a noise in his throat and turned back to the computer. Mary smiled at Leonard as he handed her a bottle of water and she turned to the couch. It surprised her to see Penny sitting so close to Sheldon's spot on the couch. She wasn't actually in it, but she was certainly close. In fact, Mary thought on closer inspection, Penny's feet were actually touching it. Mary simply shrugged and smiled to herself, already forming her opinion on the situation.

When the boys went out to play paintball that afternoon, Mary turned to Penny.

"You want to help me make dinner?"

Penny looked up from her book, surprised. "Sure."

"I was thinking of making some of Shelly's favorite soup," Mary added, pulling a recipe card out from her purse.

"Homemade split pea soup with little frankfurter slices and homemade croutons," Penny said without thinking. Mary's raised eyebrow reminded her that she probably shouldn't know that.

"He told me about it once." Mary raised her eyebrow. "A while back." Mary's eyebrow went higher. "A few years ago." Mary nodded knowingly.

"So why did you and Leonard break up?" Penny laughed a little to herself. She could see where Sheldon got his forwardness.

She proceeded to tell Mary about the breakdown a year and a half ago, how he didn't understand her, how the passion was gone. She mentioned the awkward year in between then and now and how Sheldon had become her best friend. She neglected to mention that it was because of her realization that she liked him as more than a friend that she really broke up with Leonard. She recapped the past six months, delicately avoiding any mention of herself and Sheldon in a private situation.

Mary neglected to comment on the lack of her son in any of Penny's stories.

The boys returned from paintball surprised to find dinner ready to eat. When Penny explained the soup, Sheldon's eyes flew from his mother to her and locked on. She didn't think she was breathing while he stared at her. He knew he wasn't. Mary watched with a careful eye.

Penny asked Sheldon to show her how to win the next level of AoC after dinner. He tried to explain the level and quickly gave up, exasperatedly demanding that they go to her apartment so he could show her exactly what to do. As the door closed behind them, Leonard turned to a smiling Mary.

"What do you think is the problem, Mrs. Cooper? See how weird he's being?"

"Sweetie, how long have he and Penny been this close?"

"About the last year and a half," Howard chimed in, licking the last of the soup off his spoon.

"Why?" Leonard asked, his eyebrows contracting.

"Oh, honey," Mary sighed, "there are really only two options here. Either he's gay as a picnic basket and she's become his new best friend or they're dating and y'all are blind as bats."

Leonard laughed nervously. "You know, it's funny that you say 'blind as a bat,' because bats aren't actually blind. They just tend to use echolocation because it's easier." Noting the look on Mary's face, he added, "But yeah, those are two very logical options."

"There's only one way to find out which it is." Mary rose from the chair and walked toward the door. As she entered the hallway, Raj looked at Howard, Howard looked at Leonard, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Let's go."

The three boys caught up with Mary, who turned quickly and hushed them with a silent finger on her lips. They tiptoed behind her as she neared Penny's doorway. There were definite sounds from the other side of the closed door. Mary shook her head looking amused and threw the door open. Raj and Howard's mouths dropped open.

There, sitting on Penny's couch, surrounded by piles of pillows and fashion magazines, was Sheldon, his fingers crushing the hems of his shirts that were being pulled up by Penny, who was straddling his chest. Her own shirt was long gone, flung somewhere on the floor, revealing a red lace bra (_Her favorite_, Sheldon had been thinking moments earlier). They were both wearing the same look of shock as they stared at the doorway, blushes rising up their necks. As the couple stared at their four friends and one mother, scared to death at the prospect of both of them facing the quadruple inquisition at the same time, Leonard felt Mary relax slightly.

Throwing up her hands and looking at the heavens, Mary cried out, "Praise sweet Jesus! He likes women!"


	7. A Real Good Imagination

**A/N**: Sheldon gets a tad OOC, but nothing too too terrible.

Chapter Seven – A Real Good Imagination

The Split Pea Occurrence created an odd rift in the group. Leonard tried to stay mad at his roommate for as long as he possibly could, but, at the same time, he knew somewhere deep down that they were perfect for each other. After all, Penny stood up to Sheldon, could push him around, could comfort him, and obviously made him act like a human being. And Sheldon… well, he needed whoever could deal with him. And that just happened to be Leonard's ex.

Howard was stunned into silence for the first time in his life. It was pure luck that his phone got wireless in the apartment so he could tweet: going 2 poke out my eyes. sheldor & queenpenelope hooking up.

Bernadette was shocked when Howard told her, but then she smiled and laughed. When she saw Penny the next day at work, she hugged her tightly and told her she was so happy it had finally happened. Penny looked at her curiously and Bernadette had simply laughed again and taken an order to table twelve.

Raj didn't do anything particularly interesting with the news. It wasn't as though he had thought he had a chance with Penny, so he wasn't sad. He didn't dislike Sheldon, so he wasn't upset. Really, all his emotion amounted to was relief that someone could punish Sheldon if he got out of hand.

A few weeks later, the boys were (mostly) back to normal. Howard did keep dropping innuendos in conversation with Sheldon, who rarely understood what he meant, and Penny did inflict pain on Howard's manhood a few times, but otherwise it was back to normal.

At least, it was until Howard proposed.

The four men were at the Cheesecake Factory for their usual Tuesday burger, Howard acting more twitchy than usual. Sheldon was barely paying attention to the conversation, too busy watching the strings on Penny's apron swing against her skirt. Raj was arguing with Leonard about something to do with their last attempt at picking up girls (apparently Leonard wasn't the wingman he should have been). And then Bernadette came over to say hi and everything went to pieces. Howard jumped out of his chair and kissed her quickly, pulling at her hand.

"Bernadette," he said, kneeling on the wood. "I've been thinking about this a lot and, well, I figure what the hell. I love you and so… will you marry me?"

As Bernadette blinked, Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj snapped out of their reveries.

"WHAT?"

"Oh, Howard!" Bernadette said as she launched herself on him. "Yes!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Leonard asked as Raj mimed his agreement and Sheldon said, "Do you know how many germs are on the floor right now?"

Howard would have answered, but he was too busy kissing Bernadette as Penny led a round of applause.

Life continued at a (mostly) normal pace after that. Leonard started seeing Leslie Winkle again, Raj still couldn't talk to women, Penny and Sheldon spent almost every waking minute together, and Howard and Bernadette planned the wedding.

Eventually, their big day rolled around and everything went (mostly) smoothly. There were some awkward comments from Mrs. Wolowitz, some bad shrimp, and a few secret trips to the bathroom by Penny and Sheldon as well as the newlyweds. By the time it was all over, no one wanted to see cake ever again, everyone hated conga lines, and Penny's blisters had exploded on her heel from her stupid strappy shoes, forcing Sheldon to carry her to her car.

It was several months after Mr. and Mrs. Wolowitz had returned from their honeymoon when Christmas arrived. Penny insisted on a Christmas tree and flatly refused to put the Isaac Newton bust ornament on it. Sheldon pouted for a week before he admitted the tree looked nice. Mistletoe went up next, distracting the two official couples from much else. Leonard tactfully avoided the living room except for Halo night and dinner. It was still a little too soon.

A week before Christmas, Missy showed up as a surprise present for her brother and, she hoped, her future sister-in-law. She squealed when she saw Penny and hugged her tightly saying something about how excited Mary was for the two of them. She ventured over to her brother next, and no one noticed that when she hugged Sheldon, she handed him a tiny box and winked. He didn't say anything, just put the box in his pocket and smiled.

* * *

Penny woke up Christmas Day in her apartment, an empty carton of eggnog on her nightstand and her bed equally empty of her boyfriend. She was about to comment on her dislike of the situation to herself when Sheldon's head peeked around the corner.

"Merry Christmas," he said softly, coming into her bedroom, fully dressed in his Flash shirt and green thermal, holding a mug of hot chocolate.

"Merry Christmas, Moonpie," she said, kissing him gently as he settled on the bed. "Why didn't you stay over last night?"

He shifted uncomfortably and said, "I had some things to get done."

"I missed you," she said, running her hand along his forearm. He shivered contentedly and she smiled. "When can I come over?"

He glanced at her and cocked an eyebrow. "I assumed you would come over as soon as you were dressed."

"You want to wait here while I get ready?" she said, pulling off the covers. He nodded and stood up, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. As she stepped out of bed, Penny started to pull off her top. The liquid in his mouth nearly spurted everywhere as he stared at her. She smiled.

"If you want, you can wait in the living room."

Sheldon's eyes seemed to be looking into space for the right answer. Penny could almost hear the squeaking of his mind's marker on the internal whiteboard, comparing equations and scribbling weird symbols. She sighed and was about to just go into the bathroom when he set down the mug. "I'll wait right here."

* * *

Leonard glanced at his watch again. Sheldon had gone over to Penny's apartment over an hour ago. He knew she took a while to get up and ready, but this was ridiculous. As he was about to storm the door, they walked into 4A, slightly flushed. Sheldon's layers of shirts were not as symmetrical as usual, but Leonard didn't really notice. He didn't want to think about it.

"Merry Christmas, Penny," he said, smiling and hugging his neighbor.

"Merry Christmas, Leonard," she said, smiling back. Missy stood from her stool by the kitchen island and threw herself at Penny.

"Oh, Penny," she said quietly, squeezing her friend. "I think you just gave Sheldon the best present he'll get."

Penny blushed deeper and whispered back, "Oh, no, Missy. That's waiting for tonight."

Missy laughed, earning a suspicious look from Sheldon, and turned to the kitchen to help with breakfast. The eggs were just beginning to scramble when Howard, Bernadette, and Raj showed up, arms filled with boxes and bags.

"Merry Christmas!" Bernadette sang out, hugging Penny and Leonard. Sheldon settled for a nod.

"I thought you guys weren't coming over," Leonard said, helping Howard put down the boxes.

"We weren't going to," Raj whispered, looking away from Missy. "But Bernadette wanted to."

"Ah."

Sheldon dished out breakfast and, once all the plates were in the sink, the presents came out. Howard started with Bernadette's, a silver charm bracelet that Penny and Missy cooed over. Raj handed Howard a box with the missing issue of his _Batman_ collection. Howard hugged Raj for a good two minutes before Bernadette tapped him on the shoulder and handed him his present. Leonard and Penny swapped, only to find they got the same things: iTunes gift cards. They laughed and shrugged it off. Eventually, Penny handed Sheldon a thin box.

"I know it's not quite like the other one, but it's as close as I could get."

Sheldon pulled off the paper and shrieked. Penny grinned and looked at Leonard. He smiled back, a little sad in the eyes. She felt her heart sink a tiny bit before Sheldon launched himself at her and kissed her. After he pulled back leaving her heart fluttering, he held up the box.

"William Shatner. I have William Shatner's autograph!"

As Leonard, Raj, and Howard leapt up to see it for themselves, Penny leaned over to Missy. "I figured he needed the set. Do you know how hard it is to get a napkin signed?" Missy grinned as Sheldon pointed out each pen movement. After five minutes of pure worship, Sheldon looked over at Penny and waved off the others.

"Penny, this is for you." He handed her a thick, bright red envelope. Her heart was beating faster. A weekend away together? Tickets to a new Broadway show opening? She ripped open the seal.

"Oh. A gift certificate to a steakhouse. Thanks, Sheldon."

"You're welcome, Penny. I remembered when we first met, you mentioned that you loved steak."

"I do love it. Thank you."

"That's a terrible gift." Howard's statement was followed by a somewhat muffled squeak as Bernadette smacked him on the upper arm.

"Shut up, Howard. She obviously appreciates it."

"There's no way that she could appreciate that, Bernadette."

"He knows her better than you do, Howard," she countered.

"They've been together for almost two years, even if it was unofficial. You'd think it'd be something a _little_ better."

"She does like steak, though," Leonard muttered thoughtfully.

"I can't believe he's my brother," Missy said, rolling her eyes at Raj.

Raj nodded.

As Penny forced her smile, Sheldon's face broke into a grin.

"Bazinga. You really thought I would only get you that?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box with a tiny bow on it. Penny's heart leapt, even though she knew it couldn't possibly be what she imagined. As he opened it, she saw the glimmer of a stone.

"This was one of Meemaw's favorite pieces of jewelry," Sheldon explained softly, delicately pulling the ring out of the case with his long fingers.

"Oh my God. Sheldon, it's beautiful." Penny reached for the ring and began to move her index finger closer. Sheldon pulled his hand back, taking the ring with it.

"Let me put it on." He carefully led the ring towards her left ring finger. Penny knew she wasn't breathing, knew she should be, knew it was impossible. The guys were staring, mouths open, as Bernadette and Missy dabbed at their eyes with their sleeves.

"Sheldon…" she whispered.

"This was Meemaw's engagement ring," he murmured, pushing the ring further onto her finger. "She wanted to give it to the man who proposed to Missy, but when I told her my intentions, she thought I could use it sooner."

"What are you saying, Sheldon?" Penny breathed, her voice beginning to crack.

"Penny, you are the Leia to my Han Solo. I know it is possible for me to physically live without you, as my heart would still beat, my lungs would still work, and all other bodily functions would continue. But I do not believe I could consider it living without you in my life. You are the only woman I have found who is able to challenge me, both intellectually and socially. You are the only woman I can ever imagine reproducing with, and, most importantly, you are the only one I could ever love."

That night, as Penny lay in his bed, her hand on Sheldon's lightly rising and falling chest, the diamond gleamed in the moonlight. She smiled at it and nuzzled her face closer in his neck, kissing him gently.

"I love you, Dr. Cooper."


	8. A Bride with a Paper Ring

Chapter Eight – A Bride With A Paper Ring

Penny dipped her fingers into the chocolate fondue and brought them slowly to her mouth. Sheldon reasoned that, under normal circumstances, he would have found the behavior repulsive. He knew how many different kinds of bacteria lived on a person's skin, how many people must have double-dipped already, and yet… He shifted his stance, hoping no one would notice his increased interest in the new Mrs. Cooper. She smiled knowingly from across the hall, being sure to lick the chocolate slowly from each pore of her fingers before she waved them flirtatiously at him. He felt his face heating up and forced himself to look away. Leonard nudged him in the ribs.

"Penny's waving you over. Why aren't you going?"

When Sheldon didn't respond, his best man shoved him in the small of the back toward his bride. As Sheldon tripped over his feet, he found himself chest to face with Penny.

"Hi there, handsome."

Sheldon stumbled over words, leading to a garbled mess. Penny just smiled, glanced around, and pulled him by the hand toward the bathroom. Sheldon was prepared to make a remark about how the bathroom was a most inappropriate place to go together when she whispered, "It's not gender specific, Dr. Cooper."

There really was no logical explanation why that made Sheldon turn bright red and feel his pulse quicken (a sure sign of arousal), but it did. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of Penny for much longer. Thankfully, she didn't seem to want him to.

He couldn't remember a time they spent alone when the kisses were so frantic and so passionate. They had spent the night together several times, enough that Sheldon had determined himself an expert on Penny's nine (oh, yes, there were certainly nine) erogenous spots. He knew he could bring her to her knees with one touch (a gentle kiss on the left side of the small of her back). He was also well aware that she could drop him in the same amount of time just by nibbling his right earlobe. But this Bathroom Theorem, well, he could get used to this. Somehow, he felt his back pushed against the counter, knew that he was going to topple into the sink soon. She was fumbling with his buttons, ripping at the tie.

"Be careful," he gasped through her kisses. "It's a rental."

She moaned into his neck and continued her assault on his apparel, clawing her way to his skin. As she massaged his chest, Sheldon let out a whimper and she slowed herself down. Her kisses became soothing, cool, loving. Just as she prepared herself for the stop, Penny felt his arms reach around her waist, knew his long fingers were working on undoing the zipper of her dress. The zipper (and front of the dress) down, he turned his attention toward the woman beneath the it. His hands caressed her back, snuck under the material and smoothed themselves against her skin. As one hand tugged itself away from her and moved to pull off the rest of the dress, she leaned into his neck.

"Be careful," she whispered into his ear. "It cost a fortune."

* * *

When they returned from the bathroom half an hour later, no one had noticed their disappearance. Sheldon returned to his place by the punch bowl as Penny made her rounds to the guests. Soon Howard was whispering to the DJ and the dance floor opened up. Sheldon turned awkwardly to find his wife (_Wife! Who would have thought?_) and found her gaze instantly. He held out his hand as she crossed the room, smiling as he swept her into a waltz.

Around nine o'clock, just as most of the guests were leaving, dress shoes and plates of cake in hand, Penny found her husband again. She shook her head at the word. _Husband. It sounded so… official_. She smiled as she came up to his elbow.

"Dr. Cooper," she whispered. He turned from his conversation with Dr. Gablehauser (invited only because of social conventions, he insisted) and found her eyes. His own twinkled as he unconsciously swelled his chest. She knew it was pride that made him act like this, but it was still odd to see him like this. Almost as odd as thinking of him as her husband instead of her whackadoodle neighbor.

"Are you prepared to leave?" he asked quietly. She nodded slowly, knowing her eyes were barely open.

"Goodbye, Dr. Gablehauser." He held out his hand and Gablehauser shook it. He turned back to Penny. "Shall we?"

"I think so." Penny took his proffered arm and smiled sleepily up at him. He led her toward the door, pulling her coat from the rack and wrapping it gently around her, his hands lingering on her shoulders. She smiled again and, this time, he smiled back.

"I love you, Mrs. Cooper," Sheldon whispered softly into her ear.

As she snuggled deeper into his arms, listening to the sobs of their mothers and cheers and applause of their friends (and Meemaw) behind them, Penny knew it was one phrase she could count on hearing for the rest of her life.

* * *

A/N: Just a short chapter this time - next one will get pretty good...


	9. The Part of a Man

A/N: Thanks again to the wonderful reviews! Y'all inspired me to finish this baby up. And speaking of babies...

Chapter Nine: The Part of a Man…

She was late. That was all Penny knew at this moment in time. And she was never late. But maybe she was overreacting. Sheldon was anal about making sure she took her pill, except… did they miss a day? She threw her head into her hands and let out an agitated sigh. Why did she have to worry so much?

"Mrs. Cooper?"

Even though she heard it, Penny didn't register the name for a few seconds. That was her – Mrs. Sheldon Cooper. She stood and turned to the nurse.

"Come on back."

* * *

The boys were playing Halo. Somehow, Sheldon and Raj were managing to kick Leonard and Howard's asses. Sheldon was putting himself in position to completely destroy Howard when Penny walked through the door.

"Hey guys," she murmured as she passed behind the couch, gently pecking Sheldon on the cheek as he pressed buttons wildly.

"Hey Penny," they responded in unison. Seconds later, Howard groaned and Leonard threw his controller on the chair. Sheldon and Raj began their victory cheer as Penny opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. Sheldon turned to grin at her and stopped, mid-muscle movement. His eyes flitted between her water, her eyes, her mouth, and her stomach. She licked her lips nervously.

"Everybody out," Sheldon commanded, dropping his controller and turning off the TV. The others groaned.

"Sheldon, what's wrong with you?" Leonard whined, rolling his eyes.

"Everybody out," Sheldon repeated, opening the door and motioning with his hands. "You can all go to Leonard's."

They slowly filed out of 4A, muttering angrily about his ridiculous rules as they scuffed next door. As soon as Howard's foot was out the door, Sheldon shut it and faced Penny.

"Something's wrong." Not a question. A statement. Penny gulped.

"Nothing's wrong, honey."

Sheldon stepped toward her, reaching out to take her hands and pull her closer for inspection. He ran his hands up her arms, settled them on her cheeks as he looked at her eyes. She let out a shaky breath as his blue eyes narrowed.

"What's wrong, Penny?"

She pulled away from his grip and settled on the couch. "Nothing, Sheldon. Nothing's wrong."

Before he could inquire more, she turned on the TV and upped the volume of ANTM. He sat next to her and put his hand over hers. She stiffened slightly, then laced their fingers together. They sat like that for three hours.

Eventually, the boys and Bernadette (recently off from work and her arms full of baby Elijah) brought over dinner. Penny delicately avoided the clam chowder and pulled out a frozen dinner she had picked up on her way home. Sheldon didn't say anything.

It was when she crawled into bed that night that Penny thought of telling him what was wrong. _Not wrong_, she corrected herself. _Just new._ He was already lying there, eyes closed, unmoving as Dracula, just like usual. She smiled as her toes wandered over the indicated line of division on the bed. As they touched his calves, Sheldon's eyes opened.

"I hope you intend to inform me of what happened today," he said calmly. He couldn't let her know how nervous he was. Was the marriage not working? Was he failing in the bedroom? Did she have some illness that she could spread to him? The first two could be easily remedied by further research. The last issue might take more effort.

Penny curled up next to him and laid her head gently on his flannel-covered chest, running one hand over his ribs.

"I had a doctor's appointment," she said softly, focusing on the pattern on his pajamas.

"And?" he prompted, his heart pounding in his chest.

"How do you feel about being a dad?"

Fifteen minutes later, Sheldon's eyes fluttered open again. Penny was hovering over him, her hand ready to deliver another wakening slap, her eyes filled with fear. He let out a breath and she smiled nervously.

"I didn't think you'd take it quite like that," she said, sitting up. He pulled himself up level to her, holding one of her hands.

"Penny, you can't be serious."

"Oh, sweetie. You have no idea how serious I am."

Sheldon turned to stare at the foot of the bed, blinking a few times as though trying to clear his head. Penny raised a hand to touch his cheek, stroking it gently.

"I want to keep it," she whispered, holding her breath for his next words.

His head whipped toward her. "Of course we're keeping it. I never expected to marry, let alone reproduce. This is what my mother would call a miracle." And suddenly, his face broke into a genuine smile, sweet and caring and scared shitless.

Penny kissed him softly, her lips tasting like chocolate and raspberries and love. Sheldon thought his heart was going to explode with joy, at least until he reasoned with himself that it was an impossibility. She smiled again and turned to lie down.

He was still sitting up, his back pressed against the headboard, when he heard her murmur, "I should have said, 'I want to keep _them_.'"

This time, Penny let him sleep.

They decided not to tell the others until it was impossible to hide. Sheldon became more neurotic about cleaning habits, food choices, and anyone coming near Penny. Howard attributed it to a lack of sex, Leonard agreed, and Raj refused to put in his two cents worth. Once Penny started gaining weight, it became more difficult to conceal ("She's just been eating like crazy, Sheldon!" "It's stress. Look it up."). Finally, someone had to say something. Leonard cornered Sheldon before dinner one night while Penny was fixing a salad.

"Hey, Sheldon, Penny's…"

"Yes, Leonard?"

Leonard searched for words. He didn't want to sound bitter – it had been years since _that_ – but still…"Well, she's putting on weight. Like, a lot."

Sheldon looked seriously at his former roommate. "That's strike one, Leonard."

Leonard's mouth dropped open and he shook his head. "It was a statement of fact, Sheldon! She's… you know… enormous. It's at least fifteen pounds, probably more like twenty!"

Sheldon's eyes narrowed. "That's strike two. Do you really want to keep going?"

Leonard turned away from his friend and mouthed at Howard and Raj, "Crazy man!"

Raj nodded and Howard cleared his throat. "Bernadette's knocked up again."

Penny stopped stirring the salad as she and Sheldon stared at each other, eyes wide. The others were too busy congratulating Howard to notice.

"I can't believe you got her again!" Raj said, giving his friend a high five.

"I know, right? My guys know how to swim." Howard made a rough hand gesture to drive home his point.

Penny was starting to chop cucumber, looking anywhere but at her husband. Sheldon noticed and looked pointedly at Howard.

"I would prefer that you keep your private life private," he said, moving to grab a water from the fridge and brush Penny's back at the same time. She couldn't help but smile at his ability to multitask.

"Sorry, Sheldon," Howard said, sounding genuinely apologetic. "I just… I don't know. I'm married _and_ have a kid and another on the way? I feel like it's not real."

"Understandable, though it does nothing for the rest of us to hear of your triumph." Penny smacked her husband lightly as he moved toward the couch.

"It's not fair," Raj said, playing with the tab on his soda can. "Why is it that everyone else can knock up their wives and I'm still not even close?"

"Everyone else?" Penny said, the salad sitting still in the bowl.

"Yeah," Raj said. "Howard, and then Kripke and Leslie Winkle are expecting, Leonard's trying with Stephanie and even though they aren't married, I think it counts." Leonard glared at Raj as he continued, "Oh, and Stuart. You know, comic store Stuart. Did you know he's married?" He looked at Leonard, who shook his head and took a sip of soda.

Raj continued again, saying, "I mean, I'm starting to think that it would just be easier to adopt. I know Missy's not big on the idea of, well, getting big, but I think she wants kids. I feel like a failure."

Sheldon's fingers tightened into a fist as he unconsciously pictured his sister and his friend together. That had been unexpected. He wasn't enthusiastic about the unexpected. But Missy seemed happy, and that counted for something. He sighed lightly. "Maybe you should have listened to your mother's advice about underwear."

Raj sputtered incoherently as Howard and Leonard laughed. Sheldon was still watching Penny carefully, afraid of something happening to her. She seemed safe until she started to move the bowls to the table. While she was transporting the salad bowl, something happened and her fingers released seconds too early, dropping the glass to shatter into a million (more like 30, thought Sheldon) pieces.

"Damn it!" Penny yelled, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I can't hold onto anything!"

Sheldon was already up and reaching for the broom, forgetting his usual commentary on clumsiness and messes to take care of the floor. Leonard smiled at her, opening his mouth in what he later thought of as the stupidest moment of his life. At the time, he would later remind her, it seemed like something that could make her laugh. Apparently not.

"God, Penny, you're just having a sucky time lately, aren't you?"

Penny looked at Leonard, her eyes filling with tears as her face flushed. Sheldon's glare could have exploded anything.

"Leonard…" Sheldon began angrily, his voice rising for the first time in ages. But he never finished his original thought.

"I'm pregnant!" Penny yelled, raising her hands helplessly. "I'm fat and ugly and pregnant! With twins! Just leave me alone!"

She ran from the kitchen, the door to the bedroom slamming shut seconds later. The boys were silent, looking at each other trying to understand what just happened. Sheldon turned on Leonard with a death glare.

"That's strike three, Leonard. You're officially banished."

* * *

As the hormones raged more and more, Sheldon realized why it was important to have a real house and not a tiny apartment: he was going crazy. Penny had been even clumsier than usual lately (only four months to go, thank God) and was running into his whiteboards every other day. He had an eidetic memory, it was true, but that didn't help when he had to rewrite everything.

As the weeks to The Day winded down, he began looking seriously into a new house. The boys laughed at him and told him he'd never get Penny to agree on such a big decision in her current state. One night, when Penny's feet hurt especially badly (which resulted in her loud cursing despite the fact that she _knew_ the babies could hear her, he had told her so many times before) he pulled out the laptop and began scanning houses. She rubbed her lack of ankles aimlessly as she watched him typing frantically.

"Whatcha looking at, Moonpie?" she asked, peering distantly around his shoulder.

"I feel that it is time to look into a new house," Sheldon said, not looking at her. He heard her move from the couch as she came up behind him.

"I like that one," she said, pointing toward the screen. He looked up at her.

"You like the idea?" he said, surprised. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sheldon, honey, we're going to have _twins_. This apartment is too small for just the two of us." He opened his mouth to contradict her, but she pressed on, "Don't pretend you haven't been going crazy with me around all the time. I'm tired of seeing you 24/7, too. But a house…" She searched for the sentence. "A house would give us the space we need. And it could have a real front yard, too."

Sheldon nodded and clicked the house she had been pointing at. As he wrote down the address, he looked back at her. "Would you like to visit tomorrow?"


	10. Who's Never Truly Loved Anything

Chapter Ten: …Who's Never Truly Loved Anything

The previous owners were Jeff and Carol, and they were thrilled to see a young, expectant couple looking at their house. As they gave the tour ("You can see the original crown molding there," and "This room gets just enough sunlight to be an excellent bedroom"), they shared their own experiences with Sheldon and Penny.

Jeff, an ex-construction worker, told Penny about his thrill at having a front yard where their children (now full-grown and with families of their own) could play. Carol, a former literature professor, related each room's academic value to Sheldon, especially showing off her own study. By the time they reached the second floor, Dr. and Mrs. Cooper were already sold on the house. When Jeff pointed out the former nursery, Penny's eyes filled with tears.

"This is where each of our kids was raised," he said, watching the young woman's face. She was waving her hands at her eyes furiously, trying to keep her mascara from running. Jeff couldn't help but smile when she turned her face to her husband and whispered, "I love it."

Sheldon had been experiencing several bouts of warm feelings in the pit of his stomach (actually, it had been a constant warmth since that first kiss), but this house did something more. He could picture the twins running down hallways, popping into his study, preparing dinner with Penny in the small but manageable kitchen. He had never been one for imagining domestic scenes, but in this house, it felt right.

Carol was going on about the view from the nursery window when Sheldon and Penny said at the same time, "We'll take it."

Once the papers were finalized, it came down to packing up the apartment. The boys disappeared for a few days, but when the weekend rolled around, Bernadette, Missy, and Stephanie marched them back into 4A. Penny pointed at shelves and cupboards as Sheldon organized the assembly line, ignoring Raj's grumbling at being the one to haul the boxes to the car. Before the afternoon became night, Penny, Leonard, and Missy's cars were loaded with everything and the caravan, led by Howard on his scooter, headed off to the house.

"I believe the appropriate payment of moving a friend to a new location is beer and pizza," Sheldon said, his voice businesslike as Howard dropped the last of the boxes on the floor.

"I think straight scotch would be better," Raj muttered, earning a peck on the cheek from a grinning Missy.

"We've got to get going," Leonard said, his arm curling around Stephanie's waist. "We've got dinner reservations."

As Stephanie smiled at him, Penny had to grin a little herself. It had been long enough that Leonard had devoted himself to his new (well, more like _renewed_) girlfriend and she was certain that when he popped the question later that night, the good doctor would say yes. She waved goodbye as the couple headed out of the house and turned back to her sister-in-law.

"Pizza?" she said. Missy shook her head.

"We've got ourselves a double-date," she said, grinning at Raj, who nodded and pointed at Howard and Bernadette.

Within ten minutes, the other four had left the house with shouts of congratulations and general happiness (Penny attributed it to being done moving the boxes), leaving Penny and Sheldon alone in the empty rooms. As he stared at the boxes, Penny snuck over to him and attempted (and failed) to wrap her arms around him. He jerked back to reality and, seeing her struggling to turn herself sideways and still hang onto him, offered his long arms instead. She buried her head as far in his chest as she could go (which really wasn't that far) and breathed in his Green Lantern shirt.

"Whatcha thinking about, Moonpie?" she asked, raising her face to peer at his chin. His eyes narrowed and he looked down at her, his face serious.

"I think this is really happening," he said.

"What's really happening?"

"I believe my life is reaching a stage of completion and nearly perfect happiness."

"Nearly perfect?"

"If you were somewhat smaller, and I was able to hold you closer, I believe that would aid the situation."

"Well, tough luck, bucko," Penny said, sighing deeply. "We've still got a few weeks. And then I'll be working off the baby weight, so it might be a while until I'm even close to normal."

"If I didn't have an eidetic memory, I'd say I think I've forgotten what your old 'normal' was."

Penny slapped him gently on the chest. "Are you saying I've been fat for too long?"

"I would _never_ say you're fat," Sheldon said, shocked. "Your diameter has certainly increased more rapidly than I predicted, but…"

"Okay," Penny said, pulling back from his awkward hug, "we don't talk about my weight or my diameter or my circumference or _anything_, got it? Not until I'm tiny and confident again."

"I like you like this," he said quietly. "You're beautiful."

Tears pricked Penny's eyes as she turned back to the boxes. "That's enough chitchat, cowboy. We've got boxes to move."

"It can wait."

Penny whipped around as quickly as she could to face her husband. "'It can wait?' Who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

"You haven't eaten yet," he said matter-of-factly, reaching for his phone and keys. "We should go get dinner."

She stared at him, trying to understand the cogs and wheels spinning, grinding, clicking in his mind. Nope, he still was a whackadoodle. _Her_ whackadoodle. She smiled and reached out for his hand.

* * *

_Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper's Journal of Mrs. Penny Cooper's Pregnancy_

_Day 266:_

_Diameter: roughly 41 inches (rough estimate due to Penny's displeasure with being physically measured). Officially thirty-eight weeks today. Penny's frustration with her size continues to seep into daily conversation and her general temperament. It would appear that she is weary of carrying our two unborn children who, I hope, will possess the attractiveness of their mother and my mental capacity. Both Penny and the doctor have suggested that I lower my expectations slightly on the intelligence front, but I am firmly of the belief that, with my I.Q. of 187 and Penny's intuition and knowledge of social conduct, the children will possess the intelligence necessary to…_

"Sheldon, are you writing in your creepy pregnancy journal again?"

Sheldon's fingers froze on the keyboard. "Of course not, Penny."

"Don't lie to me, Cooper," she said, her voice rumbling into his study from the kitchen. "If you write down my 'diameter' one more time, I swear to God I'm going to go Junior Rodeo on you."

"There will be no need for that," he said, his legs unconsciously squeezing together, knees knocking against each other. He glanced back at the screen and continued typing.

…_protect them from schoolyard and workplace tormentors, as well as pursue their desired fields of study. I will, of course, recommend physics as their discipline, but I increasingly find I would not be averse to the pursuit of another subject area._

Sheldon paused, then continued typing.

_Perhaps not literature.

* * *

_

Penny woke up at 3am. She knew because Sheldon had put the alarm clock right in front of the bed, right on the dresser. And it was staring at her, little green numbers shining mockingly through the darkness of the night. But why had she woken up?

And then she felt the wet.

She ran through the steps the doctor had told her. Maybe she just hadn't made it to the bathroom. Something in the back of her mind told her not to believe that. And then came the contractions. She timed them – not quite time yet. She picked up the book from the nightstand that Sheldon had suggested she read and padded out to the living room to read. She kept timing until they were coming seven minutes apart.

Penny tried to stay calm. She really did. But the thought that her babies were on the way kept her heart racing. She walked back to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, looking over at Sheldon. He was lying still on his side of the bed, hands folded neatly on top of the comforter. She breathed deeply and tapped his shoulder.

"Sheldon, honey, wake up."

"Hmm?"

"Wake up."

"Penny, my sleep cycle has been disturbed enough for the past few weeks with your constant midnight trips into the bathroom. Please, let me try to sleep a little longer."

"Honey, unless you want me to deliver these babies in this bed, you need to wake up."

They had plenty of time, she knew, but between Sheldon's sixteen billion checks on the emergency bag and her trying to calm him down, they needed all the time they could get. Convincing him to drive was a challenge until she pointed out that she was the one who would be going into labor soon and that he had better get his ass into that driver's seat and get her to the hospital. He didn't argue much after that.

By the time they reached the hospital, the contractions were lasting a minute and coming fast. Sheldon corrected her, stating they were coming five minutes apart, but Penny's snarl shut him up quickly after that. The nurse named Susan was saying something about possibly going home for a while, but when she saw Sheldon pale and Penny look like she was going to kill something, she told them a room was ready.

Time was moving faster than Sheldon ever remembered. One moment Penny was smiling at him, talking about the names they'd chosen, and the next minute she was screaming in pain. He offered his hand just like the movies suggested and if he hadn't loved his wife so much, he would have pulled his hand back after the first squeeze nearly broke his fingers. As the labor pains increased, Penny glanced at Sheldon to see his worry-face on.

"Sheldon, honey, what's the matter? You're not the one who has to push two kids out your vag."

Sheldon sniffed and said, "You know I dislike you using that term."

Penny grinned and clenched his fingers as the contraction came. She felt him wince and had a sudden moment of guilt. The guilt disappeared when she remembered it was his fault.

"So what's wrong?"

He looked away awkwardly and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Sheldon," Penny said in her warning voice, her eyes narrowing. "What's wrong?"

"I just feel as though you should be upset with me," he said quickly, the words spilling out his mouth in a waterfall of vowels and consonants.

"Why?" He had really lost his mind this time.

"Because I did this to you," he said, looking down at his feet. Penny laughed.

"Oh, sweetie. It takes two to tango. And I already told you, I'm not going to say that I hate you."

"I just feel as though it would be more natural if you did. I hear most women do."

"Am I most women?"

"Heavens, no."

"There we have it."

She moaned in pain as another contraction came. He looked at her and squeezed her hand gently. If she hadn't been imagining punching him in the nose again (because she really did hate him right then, even if she didn't say it), she might have smiled at him.

Around 3:30 in the afternoon, the doctor checked in and smiled at the couple, saying, "Looks like you're getting close."

"Getting close?" Penny gasped, clutching at Sheldon's hand again.

"You're at about nine centimeters."

"Oh, God!" Penny squeezed again. The bones in Sheldon's hand were grinding against each other with her grip.

"It'll be at 100% soon," the doctor said, turning toward the door. "And don't worry – your nurse is still close by."

When Susan the nurse got the doctor a short time later, he grinned and nodded at Penny. "Congratulations. You've got the magic number."

It was half an hour into the actual pushing that Sheldon was sure he was going to faint. He wanted to be a part of the birth of his children, but this was… well, it was disgusting. Not to mention angry. Penny had already yelled at three different nurses and cursed at the doctor. He was the only one that had been spared her wrath. As his watch ticked the time away, Penny's noises grew louder and his hand was on the verge of turning black and blue.

Finally, the doctor looked at Penny and said, "Alright, it looks like the first one's crowning, so it's going to hurt like hell, but you're almost there."

Penny turned her head to Sheldon, her hair plastered to her sweaty face, her beautiful green eyes teary. "Sheldon Lee Cooper, I hate you."

He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as she pushed again.

* * *

Leonard paced the hallway as Raj and Howard tapped their feet and jiggled their knees. Stephanie, Missy, and Bernadette were reading their magazines calmly, turning the pages and pointing out different shoes and table settings. Howard rolled his head and looked at his wife.

"How can you sit there and read a magazine when she's in labor?"

Bernadette turned the page again and said evenly, "There's nothing we can do about it. She's pushing the kids out, they'll get cleaned up, and then we can see her. Until that's all done, there's no reason to worry."

As Leonard opened his mouth to argue, the nurse came out and smiled at them.

"Here for Penny Cooper?" she asked, smiling at the boys' wild nods. She jerked her head toward the hallway. "You can come on back for a few minutes."

When they reached the room, everyone grinned. Sheldon was standing next to Penny's bed, his arms full of one bundle while hers were full with the other. They were quietly arguing about middle names when Missy strode over and kissed her brother on the cheek.

"So, how's it feel to be a mom and pop?" she said, smiling at him as she hugged Penny gently. The others came toward the bed slowly, Raj and Howard waving shyly at Penny. She smiled and tilted the baby in her arms toward its aunt.

"This is Keesom Lee," Penny said, watching Missy's face as her mouth dropped open into a silent "aw." "And Moonpie's got little miss Penrose Marie." Missy turned to her brother who refused to tilt the baby toward her, too occupied in staring at his baby girl.

"Penny," Missy said, her voice catching, "they're _beautiful_."

Penny shrugged, her smile turning mischievous. "How could they not be with me as their mom?"

Missy laughed and waved the boys over to look at the babies. They took a quick peek at each one, congratulated their friends, and quietly tugged the wives back into the hallway with them, promising to visit more when Sheldon and Penny were back home. After the others had left, Sheldon turned to his wife, taking his gaze from Penrose for the first time.

"They're perfect, Penny," he whispered, holding his daughter out carefully. Penny handed Keesom to the nurse standing by her side and took Penrose, looking into her face.

"They are, aren't they?" she said, her smile growing. She handed Penrose to the second nurse and watched as they took the babies to the nursery. She couldn't help turning her gaze to Sheldon's face as his eyes followed his children out the door. Sighing, he turned to the chair next to his wife and sat down, holding out his hand to stroke hers.

"You are stunning," he said, his free hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and lingering there. Penny laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm nasty and sweaty. But thank you for trying to make me feel better." They sat in silence for a few minutes, just looking into each other's eyes, Penny's eyelids drooping slowly. Sheldon's mouth twitched into a smile and he looked at their hands, nodding silently.

"What're you thinking now, Moonpie?" Penny asked, turning her head to meet his eyes.

"I think my life has reached perfection," he said seriously, lifting his eyes to hers.

She laughed and squeezed his hand gently. "What makes you say that?"

He was still looking at her, his blue eyes thoughtful as his hand found her ponytail and toyed with its end. "You're here with me."


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Dad, why did you marry her?"

Sheldon had to shake his head and look at his daughter perched on his desk for a few seconds before he responded. After five years, he still found the name Dad to be odd to his ears.

"Your mother?"

Penrose's face tightened and she looked through narrowed eyes at her father. "Who else?"

"I married her because…"

To answer with logic or truth? Logic would say he married her because she was the only woman he found who made him understand his biological potential. If he was telling the truth, it was because he loved her. It was as simple as that. But how to explain love to a girl of only five years? She _was_ exceptionally bright (Penny had refused to have either twin's IQ checked – "They're not even six yet, Sheldon. Don't be ridiculous."). But love?

Love was complicated, messy, inexplicable even to his seasoned mind. He still came home after work amazed by the pure devotion he received from Penny. She, meanwhile, remained shocked that he, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, man of two PhDs and an IQ that was nearly unmeasurable, was able to love her with so much of himself. Every night he kissed her, she knew she made the right choice.

But for him to explain love to a five-year-old, explain why a man falls in love with a woman, explain how he met her mother… That was a story Sheldon didn't feel she was quite ready for. Maybe in a few more years. For now, something poetic would have to do.

"I married her, Penrose, because she was the missing half of my heart."

"Oh." The five-year-old girl looked curiously at her father and jumped gently off the table. "I guess that makes sense."

Sheldon watched her leave the study, a stunned look on his face. Penny laughed from the doorway, nudging a chocolate-covered Keesom toward his sister. Sheldon looked at her face and smiled. He loved her laugh, the way it tinkled across the study every time she decided to visit him while he was working. He loved the way it brightened up the home they had built together out of a box of dreams he kept under the bed.

"Isn't it funny how a little girl's mind can understand something we are unable to begin to comprehend at our age?" Sheldon said, standing up.

"I don't know who this 'we' is that you're talking about," Penny said smugly, moving in on her husband. "I understand love. It's what I feel for you every second of every day."

"I know that feeling is certainly reciprocated by myself," he said, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I love you, you whackadoodle," she murmured, standing on tiptoes to reach his mouth.

As he leaned down to close the space between them, Sheldon smiled and whispered, "I love you, Mrs. Cooper."

She pulled away from the kiss and leaned against his chest. "Am I really the missing half of your heart, Moonpie?"

Sheldon thought for a second, then kissed her neck.

"No, Penny. You are my _whole_ heart."

A/N: Yes, I know it got incredibly cheesy. But, unless you're Leonard, cheese is good. :)


End file.
